The Manly Man's Manly Pet Store of Manliness

Because "domesticated" animals are for pansies.


WOLF

Price: $200

Product Descriptiom:

Nothing says "I am in charge" quite like a pack of feral beasts at your back. All purchases of eight or more wolves include a free dogsled and bullwhip.

Main diet: Anything susceptible to sharp teeth.

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GRIZZLY BEAR

Price: $500

Product Description:

This is a bear. What more is there to say? All purchases through the end of February include a complimentary saddle and bear-sized suit of chainmail.

Main diet: Stray hikers

DISCLAIMER: We are not responsible for missing picnic baskets.

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WHITE BENGAL TIGER

Price: $1000

Product Description:

The perfect pet for threatening British MI6 agents who look suspiciously like Sean Connery.

Main diet: British MI6 agents who look suspiciously like Sean Connery.

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HONEY BADGER

Price: $700

Product Description:

The perfect animal for hunting venomous snakes and/or bragging about having a honey badger.

Main diet: Cobras (not a joke, these things are just that awesome).

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